•
Day 25 of my cycle and it’s a doozie. I am glad I don’t have raw, emotional PMS every month, but somehow that irregularity makes it even harder to figure out what the fuck is going wrong with me every time I spend half a day bursting into tears every 15 minutes. It’s a really good thing I do…
•
I’ve read about this strange ritual before, but today was a first for me. I peddled 40 odd blocks across town with a small container of my partner’s seminal fluid tucked betwixt my boobs. Why would I do this, you may ask. For science of course! Where where you going, might be your next question. The new doctor is at 8th…
•
I hate doing yoga or any other exercise at home. Just deplore it. I have tired all manner of activity – yoga, free weights, PT, aerobics, boot camp style workouts, stuff with that stupid exercise ball, DVDs, streaming video, worksheets, check lists, free flow workouts from my own imagination. Doesn’t matter what it is, I would rather eat glass than do it. I have a litany of half hearted procrastinations – I don’t have enough time.…
•
I had put off posting, because I was concerned for more bad news, but so far, things continue to look good. Dr K, who I like much more then Dr D, agrees that the tubal recanalization is a good idea and that I am a perfect candidat. Dr T and Dr R (and their offices)…
•
Resolve linked to this. Having dealt with half of these, I can honestly say these well meaning questions and comments do more harm than good. I’d add a 13th item – don’t mention adoption. We know it’s a option. We haven’t forgotten. But in a lot of cases it’s too soon to consider or it simply is not the right choice…
•
For most of my life I have been lazy and out of shape. It’s just my thing. Also, I have a genetic condition that affects my lungs’ ability to oxygenate my blood. Again, just sort of my thing. I can only assume that the whole lack of oxygen situation probably played a pretty big roll in the not wanting to run around business, but for…
•
Dare I dream? I’d better not, but I can at least pat myself on the back for self advocacy. In addition to deciding that I needed a second opinion, I also emailed my Interventional Radiologist, Dr T, requesting that he put me in touch with his colleague who does fallopian tube recanalization. Recanalization is any procedure that literally…
•
I got my second Botox treatment yesterday. For migraine management, not anything cosmetic. It still seems strange to me that anyone would use the root ‘tox’ in a drug name. I think we can assume that was not accidental. Happily, I don’t mind be reminded of the fact that I have Botulism toxin under the skin of my face,…
•
I curse. My grammer, typing, and spelling are horrendous. I don’t have the aptitude or attention to correct any of it. Sorry.
•
It’s time for a second opinion. I could list all the things that my reproductive endocrinologist has done, not done, said, not said, forgotten, glossed over, fucking made light of, or simply shrugged off, and maybe you would get how disappointed and angered I am by this woman, but well, it’s a long list. I am not…
•
So the good news is that I wont be taking any fertility drugs. Whew. The bad news is I wont be participating in the AMIGOS study. I did not qualify. Not because I have an obstructed fallopian tube. Not because I had a grapefruit sized cyst on my right ovary. Not because I have crappy hormone levels.…
•
We are going tomorrow to see if we qualify for a that study that would give us four months of IUI with fertility drugs. I have never been so torn about anything. Never wanted to do and not do something so equally in my entire life. Well, that’s not true. I really don’t want to do this, not at all, but I…
•
When I first started thinking about having a family – this was in my late 20s or early 30s – I was exceptionally vocal about how I would never take fertility drugs. I thought it was selfish and foolhardy to do so. Why risk bringing more than one baby into this world when there were already too many who needed good homes.…
•
So here is the scoop… I am 38, well I was 37 when we started. In early spring of 2011, my beau and I stopped using birth control. By June, I decided I wanted to have a better idea of how shit worked so, by July I had a full month of fertility charting. By the time…
•
It’s been 13 months. More maybe, but 13 for sure. 13 attempts. 13 charts. 13 thermal shifts. 13 two-week-waits. 13 periods. 13 failures. 13 heartbreaks. Fuck 13.