The 10 of Swords from Tarot of the Mystical Moments by Catrin Welz-Stein The title of this essay comes from Annie Kotowicz’s short and sweet memoir, What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic. Consider this a set of CliffNotes to my experience of neurodivergence and related subjects. In each section, I will share the […]
What I mean when I say…
August 16, 2025 | ADHD, ASC, autism, DysAuDHD, dyscalculia, dyslexia, education, life, mental health, mindfulness, neurodivergence, pain, Uncategorized | Permalink
Neurotypical Failure
July 15, 2025 | ADHD, ASC, autism, DysAuDHD, dyscalculia, dyslexia, education, health, life, mental health, neurodivergence, pain, school, selfcare, Uncategorized | Permalink
The Moon from Mystical Moments Tarot by Catrin Welz-Stein For most of my life, I’ve felt like a failure. A rather fair-to-middling one, I grant you—I did have loads of privilege and a cussed determination to fall back on—but a failure nonetheless. Let’s get right to it. I started struggling—and failing—young. My entire academic life […]
Be like Becky.
June 29, 2025 | life, mental health, mindfulness, selfcare, Uncategorized | Permalink
I admire this human endlessly. I marvel at her regularly. She was a rare and brilliant gem. Today is Becky’s birthday, and boy, do I miss her. I miss her warmth, her charm, her talent, her goofiness… I even miss the feeling of being so much less—less charming, less impressive, less popular, all of it—than […]
Upon 51
June 10, 2025 | life, mental health, mindfulness, selfcare | Permalink
Kiddo and I had an archery lesson. I managed a few bullseyes. The rest were hers. Today is my 51st birthday. If I ever have moments of doubt about how well loved I am, all I need to do is remember how, each year on June 10th, the tiny computer in my pocket practically explodes […]
On Losing a Mother
June 5, 2025 | Alzheimer's, caregiving, dementia, life, mental health, mindfulness, pain, parenting, selfcare | Permalink
Writings from April to June, 2025 [Nine of Swords from Tarot of Mystical Moments by Catrin Welz-Stein] My mom died six months ago, right before Christmas of 2024. And I have a confession. But first, allow me to state a few things before I share my admission. I want and need to, so you have […]
Here Goes Nothin
May 27, 2025 | ADHD, ASC, autism, DysAuDHD, dyscalculia, dyslexia, education, life, neurodivergence, school | Permalink
Last week, in a revelation that may surprise many—but perhaps make good sense to a few—I received an autism diagnosis. This would have come as quite a shock to me two years ago, but in the year and a half since my ADHD reveal and bombshell dys-agnoses, so much neurodivergent sand has shifted beneath my […]
Dys-issues
May 20, 2025 | ADHD, dyscalculia, dyslexia, education, life, neurodivergence | Permalink
Hoo Nelly. So, for reasons I’ll go into later, I have been trying to learn some stuff A few weeks ago, I took a deep dive into relearning some rules about sentence structure and punctuation. It was challenging. It took loads of repetition and practice to lock in some of the grammar rules that I […]
It’s Been a Long Fucking While.
January 12, 2025 | Alzheimer's, caregiving, dementia, life, mental health, selfcare, Uncategorized | Permalink
My mom died a month ago. I have everything and nothing to share about this. I am not even sure what kind of post I want or need this to be. About her? About me? I am left living with only one of those things, so here we go. As most of you know, I’ve […]
Mishaps
December 21, 2020 | Alzheimer's, caregiving, dementia, life | Permalink
Yesterday, my dad used a Le Creuset baking dish to try to fry an egg on the stove top. When he cracked the egg into the dish, it shattered into 30 pieces. Today, my mom put toothpaste on a bar of soap in order to brush her teeth. THIS later insanity, I caught in the […]
New Feature! Things my dad can’t remember!
Things my dad can’t remember : What happened yesterday. The date, day of the week. How to manage his own finances. That my mom can no longer eat certain foods, and/or needs help in the bathroom and on the stairs. That I have begged him on more than on occasion not to watch violent or […]
WTF
December 9, 2020 | Alzheimer's, caregiving, life | Permalink
What the hell happened? How did I just drop off the map in March and, quite literally, forget that this blog was sitting here? I’ll tell you. COVID happened and they sent my kid home from school and she has not been back since. A spring, a summer, a fall and it’s now December. So […]
Just Plain sad.
March 17, 2020 | Alzheimer's, dementia, life, patriarchy | Permalink
My Aunt died today. A quick and intense battle with ALS. I guess if I could choose 5-month struggle with ALS or years and years with Alzheimer’s… oh, man. So I told my mom first thing in the morning. She is weirdly spared her grieving today as she can’t seem to remember for more than […]
Sad face. Covid-19 style.
March 14, 2020 | caregiving, health, life, mental health, parenting | Permalink
In the days leading up to the covid-19 social isolation, I felt a distinct thrill like you might on the eve of a snow day or the moment the lights go out and you have to find the candles, but as I face this first full day, I just have to say that I am […]
The Hardest Part
March 13, 2020 | caregiving, life, mental health, patriarchy | Permalink
When I decided to move home to be the full-time caregiver for my family, I expected the hardest part would be to manage my mom’s ever-increasing dementia. Of course, this would be hard. The world tells you how hard this will be and I had few illusions. I also wondered if being a for-real stay […]
This shitty week
March 13, 2020 | caregiving, health, life | Permalink
This week, I took my dad to the ER for what looked like a heart attack (it was not). My aunt was moved to hospice and my cousins have no idea if she will be 5 days or 5 months. I scheduled an appointment with a lawyer for the first time ever to make sure […]
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