mindfulness

  • UnLucky in Limerence

    …and Other MisAdventures in Attachment Injury and Trauma Response. Tristan and Isolde with the Potion (1916) by John William Waterhouse  Public Domain. Cropped from original via Wikimedia Commons Content note: This essay discusses trauma, childhood neglect & abuse, fawning, dissociation, neurodivergence, sex, and—gasp—Pre-Raphaelite art. Have you ever heard of limerence? I hadn’t until very recently.…

  • Support for Square Pegs

    Or, how to find community when you don’t quite fit. Generated by ChatGPT, 11/08/25 Content note: This essay discusses infertility, breastfeeding, dementia, caregiving, childhood trauma, complex PTSD, grief, and loss. I have not had the best luck with support groups. Or rather, maybe it’s just more accurate to say that support groups are complicated,…

  • From Addiction to Acceptance

    ENG 100, Paper 1. Tech Reflection. Oct, 2025 How Changing My Relationship with Social Media Made Everything Better.  I was addicted to social media. Fully addicted, and I hated it. For more than a decade—from installing the apps on my first smartphone until just after my 50th birthday—checking Facebook and Instagram was the first…

  • Hello, Heartache.

    If you had told me I would be weeping for anything other than sheer relief a month and a half after two hospice journeys and my seven-year career as a caregiver ended, I would have told you to shut your pretty mouth. But here I am, heartbroken and lonesome, crying myself to sleep. Oh,…

  • Hospice, Take 2

    Three of Swords from Tarot of Mystical Moments by Catrin Welz-Stein, Reversed. Hospice for Haters Hospice for the Hopeless Hospice for Healers? The last syringe of morphine I administered to my mother on her deathbed was met with a clamped jaw, pursed, unyielding lips, and tears rolling down her cheeks. I will probably never…

  • What I mean when I say…

    The 10 of Swords from Tarot of the Mystical Moments by Catrin Welz-Stein The title of this essay comes from Annie Kotowicz’s short and sweet memoir, What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic. Consider this a set of CliffNotes to my experience of neurodivergence and related subjects.  In each section, I will share…

  • Be like Becky.

    I admire this human endlessly. I marvel at her regularly. She was a rare and brilliant gem. Today is Becky’s birthday, and boy, do I miss her. I miss her warmth, her charm, her talent, her goofiness… I even miss the feeling of being so much less—less charming, less impressive, less popular, all of…

  • Upon 51

    Kiddo and I had an archery lesson. I managed a few bullseyes. The rest were hers. Today is my 51st birthday. If I ever have moments of doubt about how well loved I am, all I need to do is remember how, each year on June 10th, the tiny computer in my pocket practically…

  • On Losing a Mother

    Writings from April to June, 2025 [Nine of Swords from Tarot of Mystical Moments by Catrin Welz-Stein] My mom died six months ago, right before Christmas of 2024.  And I have a confession.  But first, allow me to state a few things before I share my admission. I want and need to, so you…