This week, I took my dad to the ER for what looked like a heart attack (it was not). My aunt was moved to hospice and my cousins have no idea if she will be 5 days or 5 months. I scheduled an appointment with a lawyer for the first time ever to make sure […]
This shitty week
March 13, 2020 | caregiving, health, life | Permalink
ugh.
March 12, 2020 | Alzheimer's, dementia, health, life | Permalink
Things my mom can’t remember : What happened 5 minutes ago. That her sister is dying. That there is a global pandemic. The year, month, day of the week. I want all of this to seem shocking and unreasonable, but the truth is it’s totally mundane. Millions of people in this country alone can’t remember […]
The Things We Know
March 2, 2020 | Alzheimer's, caregiving, dementia, life | Permalink
My mom started showing signs of dementia right around the time my kid was born. Maybe even before. That was six years ago. I took her to see her first neurologist 5 years ago. We were sent home with the advice that my mom should exercise more. “There was nothing to be done,” they told […]
Where to start? Again.
February 23, 2020 | caregiving, life | Permalink
The daughter I tried so hard for back in 2011 and 2012 is now 6 and a half. She is fucking brilliant. Hard, but brilliant. Her name is Pema Aldrin Lenz. Best. Name. Ever. After only two years of my daughter’s life, her dad and I split. We continued to live together for our finances […]
Found it.
December 19, 2012 | life, pregnancy? | Permalink
Well, there it is. Right where it’s supposed to be. Not in a tube, not stuck in an ovary. Right there, all cozy, in my funny little uterus. I can barely believe my luck is holding out.
Week 5 begins today. At least I think it does.
December 18, 2012 | health, life, pregnancy? | Permalink
I am a little confused about how far along I really am because the whole “your pregnancy starts with the first day of your last period” thing only works if you have a 28 day cycle and ovulate on day 14 which I don’t and didn’t. If I work backwards from the day I actually […]
So
December 13, 2012 | health, life, pregnancy? | Permalink
My HCG and progesterone levels look “ideal”. I have to return to Dr. K’s on monday for more blood work to make sure I am progressing properly hormone-wise. But um so. I am pregnant. Didn’t think I would ever type those words. And while I am deeply aware that so many things could go so […]
Day Two. 2 Tests.
December 12, 2012 | health, life, pregnancy? | Permalink
SO here we are. I go to Dr K’s tomorrow for “blood work”. Still only cautiously optimistic. So much up to chance. PS : How am I supposed to work today??
The little womb that could?
December 11, 2012 | health, life, pregnancy? | Permalink
Somehow I just don’t believe it. After 15 plus failures it’s hard to consider the alternative. I’ll take another test with another brand tomorrow and then I suppose I’ll talk to my doc. Will update soon.
And Another Thing
December 5, 2012 | health, infertility, life | Permalink
I almost forgot the other thing. I don’t take pregnancy tests. My cycle is so predictable that I have never once, durring this entire process, been late. In fact, as my luteal phase has grown shorter and shorter over the past year and change, I have only ever been early. So I just have never […]
Seems Different This Time.
December 3, 2012 | Uncategorized | Permalink
And not necessarily in a good way. So, I am taking the progesterone and so far so good. No massive migraines. No maudlin mood swings. For this, I am enormously thankful, but approaching my attempts to conceive this way, with this medication specifically, it’s throwing me for a loop. See, everything I have done up […]
Bats in my Belly
November 27, 2012 | health, infertility, life | Permalink
An update. My most recent round of blood work has revealed, you guessed it, nothing. So my infertility is still, after a year and half, techicnally unexplained. Welp, at least there was an upside to my most recent trip to the reproductive endocrinologist – Dr K was the first of my docs to show the […]
Thanksgiving
It was my habit for a while to go to Meeting on Sunday and silently catalog all the things I am grateful for. Sadly, I have fallen out of that habit. No one reason. Some weeks I just had other shit to do. There was a hangover or two that kept me in bed. Definitely […]
The Good and the Bad.
November 13, 2012 | exercise, health, infertility, life, pain | Permalink
Lots has happened recently. First, I have been remiss in not mentioning that my back pain is, for the first time in almost two years, completely under control. I have been having more pain free days then not. This is HUGE. And yet… I think I expected this to have more of an impact on […]
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