Things my mom can’t remember : What happened 5 minutes ago. That her sister is dying. That there is a global pandemic. The year, month, day of the week. I want all of this to seem shocking and unreasonable, but the truth is it’s totally mundane. Millions of people in this country alone can’t remember […]
ugh.
March 12, 2020 | Alzheimer's, dementia, health, life | Permalink
The Things We Know
March 2, 2020 | Alzheimer's, caregiving, dementia, life | Permalink
My mom started showing signs of dementia right around the time my kid was born. Maybe even before. That was six years ago. I took her to see her first neurologist 5 years ago. We were sent home with the advice that my mom should exercise more. “There was nothing to be done,” they told […]
Where to start? Again.
February 23, 2020 | caregiving, life | Permalink
The daughter I tried so hard for back in 2011 and 2012 is now 6 and a half. She is fucking brilliant. Hard, but brilliant. Her name is Pema Aldrin Lenz. Best. Name. Ever. After only two years of my daughter’s life, her dad and I split. We continued to live together for our finances […]
Found it.
December 19, 2012 | life, pregnancy? | Permalink
Well, there it is. Right where it’s supposed to be. Not in a tube, not stuck in an ovary. Right there, all cozy, in my funny little uterus. I can barely believe my luck is holding out.
Week 5 begins today. At least I think it does.
December 18, 2012 | health, life, pregnancy? | Permalink
I am a little confused about how far along I really am because the whole “your pregnancy starts with the first day of your last period” thing only works if you have a 28 day cycle and ovulate on day 14 which I don’t and didn’t. If I work backwards from the day I actually […]
So
December 13, 2012 | health, life, pregnancy? | Permalink
My HCG and progesterone levels look “ideal”. I have to return to Dr. K’s on monday for more blood work to make sure I am progressing properly hormone-wise. But um so. I am pregnant. Didn’t think I would ever type those words. And while I am deeply aware that so many things could go so […]
Day Two. 2 Tests.
December 12, 2012 | health, life, pregnancy? | Permalink
SO here we are. I go to Dr K’s tomorrow for “blood work”. Still only cautiously optimistic. So much up to chance. PS : How am I supposed to work today??
The little womb that could?
December 11, 2012 | health, life, pregnancy? | Permalink
Somehow I just don’t believe it. After 15 plus failures it’s hard to consider the alternative. I’ll take another test with another brand tomorrow and then I suppose I’ll talk to my doc. Will update soon.
And Another Thing
December 5, 2012 | health, infertility, life | Permalink
I almost forgot the other thing. I don’t take pregnancy tests. My cycle is so predictable that I have never once, durring this entire process, been late. In fact, as my luteal phase has grown shorter and shorter over the past year and change, I have only ever been early. So I just have never […]
Bats in my Belly
November 27, 2012 | health, infertility, life | Permalink
An update. My most recent round of blood work has revealed, you guessed it, nothing. So my infertility is still, after a year and half, techicnally unexplained. Welp, at least there was an upside to my most recent trip to the reproductive endocrinologist – Dr K was the first of my docs to show the […]
Thanksgiving
It was my habit for a while to go to Meeting on Sunday and silently catalog all the things I am grateful for. Sadly, I have fallen out of that habit. No one reason. Some weeks I just had other shit to do. There was a hangover or two that kept me in bed. Definitely […]
The Good and the Bad.
November 13, 2012 | exercise, health, infertility, life, pain | Permalink
Lots has happened recently. First, I have been remiss in not mentioning that my back pain is, for the first time in almost two years, completely under control. I have been having more pain free days then not. This is HUGE. And yet… I think I expected this to have more of an impact on […]
A Thing Of Beauty
I Voted Today
I voted for Barack Obama today for a lot of reasons, but these are the big 5 : 1) Because I stand for Obamacare (I have multiple preexisting conditions. Most members of my family do.) 2) Because I stand for Marriage Equality (so my eldest sister and my LGBT friends can marry the people they […]
Hope Hurts.
October 14, 2012 | infertility, life | Permalink
It just does. As I mentioned in my last post, I managed to get excited about the possibility. Maybe THIS month would be THE month. Maybe THIS blood is implantation bleeding. Maybe THESE cramps are implantation cramps. Get over it, lady. It’s day 27 of my cycle and while I suppose it’s not impossible that […]
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