Special Torture (or how to grin and bear it)

Just Plain sad.

March 17, 2020 | Alzheimer's, dementia, life, patriarchy | Permalink

My Aunt died today. A quick and intense battle with ALS. I guess if I could choose 5-month struggle with ALS or years and years with Alzheimer’s… oh, man.  So I told my mom first thing in the morning. She is weirdly spared her grieving today as she can’t seem to remember for more than […]

The Hardest Part

March 13, 2020 | caregiving, life, mental health, patriarchy | Permalink

When I decided to move home to be the full-time caregiver for my family, I expected the hardest part would be to manage my mom’s ever-increasing dementia. Of course, this would be hard. The world tells you how hard this will be and I had few illusions. I also wondered if being a for-real stay […]

This shitty week

March 13, 2020 | caregiving, health, life | Permalink

This week, I took my dad to the ER for what looked like a heart attack (it was not). My aunt was moved to hospice and my cousins have no idea if she will be 5 days or 5 months. I scheduled an appointment with a lawyer for the first time ever to make sure […]


March 12, 2020 | Alzheimer's, dementia, health, life | Permalink

Things my mom can’t remember : What happened 5 minutes ago. That her sister is dying. That there is a global pandemic. The year, month, day of the week. I want all of this to seem shocking and unreasonable, but the truth is it’s totally mundane. Millions of people in this country alone can’t remember […]

The Things We Know

March 2, 2020 | Alzheimer's, caregiving, dementia, life | Permalink

My mom started showing signs of dementia right around the time my kid was born. Maybe even before. That was six years ago. I took her to see her first neurologist 5 years ago. We were sent home with the advice that my mom should exercise more. “There was nothing to be done,” they told […]