Special Torture (or how to grin and bear it)

Well Received News

October 3, 2012 / by admin

I found out last night that one of the founders of my Resolve support group is finally pregnant. After 3 years and 11 assisted attempts. After almost completely giving up. She spoke often about how she was so close to being done with the whole process. That THIS IVF would be her last. And I guess it really was.

Interestingly, I did not react to this news as I have so many times before, with tears and a dull, horrible ache in my heart. I gasped and then found myself flushed with genuine excitement and joy. That was a nice, welcome feeling, cause I seriously do not have enough joy in my life right now.

So, does this signify a shift? Am I done being miserable about all the pregnancies around me or more likely and I simply OK with this one because it’s not really around me at all. It’s not like I am going to be seeing this woman at the support group. I guess the true test will be when I learn of the next pregnancy in my group of close friends and OH, I am sure it is a’comin.

Speaking of such things. Steady diet of Grapefruit juice – check. LH surge – check. Ovulation in 3… 2…

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