Resolve linked to this.  Having dealt with half of these, I can honestly say these well meaning questions and comments do more harm than good.  I’d add a 13th item – don’t mention adoption. We know it’s a option. We haven’t forgotten.  But in a lot of cases it’s too soon to consider or it simply is not the right choice OR most pragmatically, it’s as cost prohibitive as IVF. To imply that something we dont want to do or can’t afford to do will solve all our problems is a bit hard to take.